What Is Wrong With You?

Therese Skelly (one of my favorite teachers for learning about inner work) asked this question in an article she wrote about visibility.

What Is WRONG With You?

The idea behind the question is that we hold ourselves back from being more visible because there are parts of ourselves that we are ashamed of or are afraid will be judged or made fun of.

And when we hide these parts of ourselves, we tend to feel like we need to hide PERIOD. Which holds us back from stepping into more visibility. So Therese suggests identifying the parts of ourselves that we consider to be “bad” or “wrong” so that we can heal them.

As I thought about my answers to “What is WRONG with you?”, I realized that none of them are unique! There is nothing “wrong” with me, that isn’t also “wrong” with other people too.

And every answer basically boils down to not being good enough.

Not generous enough.

Not productive enough.

Not educated enough.

Not matching society’s current ideas of beauty.

Even the “too much”es are really just “not enough”s in a different form. For example, “too quiet” often translates into “not outgoing enough”. Too fat means not skinny enough. Too weird translates to not “normal” enough. I’m sure you get the idea.

(And I have to add that any “too much”es or “not enough”s that other people have placed on you actually come from them judging themselves as being too much or not enough compared to what they are seeing in you.)

Your “not enough”s may be different from mine, but I’m sure you have some too. Because we ALL do.

We all have things we don’t like about ourselves, areas where we feel like we don’t measure up, things we judge or criticize because they don’t fit our ideas of who we’re supposed to be.

No one is perfect.

So what is really wrong with us is that we hold ourselves up to an impossible ideal and then judge ourselves and others for not meeting it.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting and trying to be a better person. But please don’t judge yourself as “not good enough” in the process. As long as you’re trying to be a good person*, then you ARE good enough.

(*I assume that you’re not out raping, killing, beating, or torturing people (or animals!), taking money or resources from people who are struggling to survive, influencing others to do those things, or just generally being an asshole to others. Many spiritual teachers would say people only do those things because they are hurting and afraid and feel not good enough themselves, and I do see the truth in that, but I’m not spiritually evolved enough to be able to release my judgment of those kinds of actions yet.)

Posted in Health & Self Care, Personal Development & Self Improvement Tagged with: , , ,

What do you think about this?